Obsoletely.

If I have any southern pride, it's very little, and deep into my subconscious. I hope it stays there. I love my heritage. I love my family. I love my home. But I'm not more "proud" to be from the south than ... not.

Being "nice" means absolutely nothing to me. When I looked up "nice" in the dictionary, I get words like "obsolete, wanton, dissolute, coy, reticent, finicy, delicacy, trivial, agreeable, socially acceptable, respectable, polite."

Not all that appealing, to me. "obsolete", "agreeable", "appropriate". In other words, "Adjustable to other people's fickle desires". I have no intention of ever again, being nice.

However.

I have to subscribe to the belief that there is intrinsic value in being a "kind" person. The difference is this. Being "nice" is meaningless. Being "kind" is being generous. Being "nice" is smiling and nodding in a conversation. Being "kind" is having empathy for someone while you're talking and engaging them to inspire confidence and trust. Being "nice" is socially acceptable. Being "kind" will get you into a lot of trouble.

You read that right.

I don't think it's because I'm from "the south". I think it MIGHT have something to do with growing up in church (though I must admit that most people in that world are anything but kind. Nice, maybe. But not kind.) But I have to learn to draw the line. Being kind is exhausting. It's involved. It's hard. It's not worth it to be kind to everyone. It's a great thought to try, but I'm learning that it's really not worth it. So here's what I propose...

Screw it. Be Kind. Just be a generous, kind, trusting person. You absolutely will piss people off. You will get hurt. You will want to stop being kind. Don't. There is no alternative to being hurt. You will be. There is no means of making everyone happy (which is what being Nice is for). When it's all said and done, there is only you. And you have to live with yourself. You have to justify to only yourself your actions. Your motives are clear as crystal to you. Your excuses are shot down when you give them to yourself.

Don't be fake.
Screw being nice.
If you can, with any energy you have, give. Be kind. It won't pay off, but that's not why you're doing it.