Leslie.

The stuttering transvestite flasher turned politician
Rages through his fiery orange beard and buck teeth
To scream the scene with obscene indecencies into the town hall mic
”S… S … Save the Music Channel!”

This is our spokesman or woman,
Whatever
This is the politician who needs our votes to exist
This is the candidate with no illusions of connecting to the voters
He wants an office so he can have a warm place to sleep and a few bucks for the bus

This is Leslie.
This is the politician of the little man.
This is Leslie.
This is our microphone

We are the dripping red calligraphy of the disenfranchised
The not quite sold, but completely self-assured
The generation of Americans who can sleep soundly in our own insecurity
We burn scarred with the lies of our electric parental guardians who flicker all night long in
Black and white dots, dancing, singing, screaming their message… all is NOT well
Be afraid,
Be very afraid

Cut to Leslie
Cut to the sheman of A-town
All the while scratching is bare ass
And flashing for their cash
And waving tauntingly at the cops he knows by name
As everyone who passes him knows his
He’s the Texan singing naked cowboy
He’s the loon that every big city has,
And every little city secretly plots to kidnap
This is our microphone
This is the laughing stock you’ve made of our freedom
This is the joke we’ve seen in you all of our lives
This is what we go to sleep knowing is incapable of actually harming us
This is what you tell us to fear
But what we fear is you

What we fear most are the cavemen you wrap in blue and strap with triggers
What we fear are the mounted patrollers with nines, glocks, bad attitudes and less education than our Leslie, our microphone, our politician
What we fear is the shear stupidity that you broadly assign to our names
What we fear is that one day
One sweet day
We will wake up,
And the entire world will not see Leslie in a suit and a tie and a clean face with perfect speech,
But they will see you,
With cheap, store-bought breasts, bucked teeth, and a yellow thong,
Waving, flashing your ass, kissing for cash, the way we always knew you could.

Welcome to our world
And by all means…
Speak into the microphone