Ode To Balls...

At 7:30AM today, Rosco and I walked 50 uptown blocks and 6 cross-town blocks (that's a solid hour + of walking - with a dog) to drop off Rosco at the New York Humane Society. He's getting his balls cut off. I'm not going to say he's getting "castrated" or "neutered", or "fixed" 'cause it all sounds too nice, and it sounds like someone who didn't grow up with balls made up those terms so they wouldn't have to say what's actually happening.

Rosco is a male dog.
Male dogs have balls.
Rosco, as of this afternoon, will no longer have balls.
After that, he'll only be a male in spirit and mind.
And, in that he'll (soon) not squat to pee.
That sucks.

Rosco, also known as "the bad@$$ Mother F@#$er who don't take no $hi2 from no body", has no idea what was waiting for him behind that big metal door. He doesn't know that there are scissors somewhere back there or some knife, that will end his sex drive for ever. He just knows there were lots of little dogs and whining cats, that he was hungry, and they all looked pretty tasty.

He weighed in at a healthy (and now official) 59 lbs. As an 8 month old, that's pretty freakin' good. He also scared the crap out of a full grown german shepherd when I wasn't looking, 'cause he wanted to play, and threw the shepherd on the ground before the owner knew what to do.

"Sorry. He doesn't mean any harm. He's just a lot more manly than your dog. But don't worry, the nice people here are gonna cut off his nuts in a couple hours, then your wussy dog will be okay."

For the record, I don't normally think like this about Rosco. When small dogs come up, I make him lie on his back so they can sniff him and so Rosco knows he's not supposed to eat them. But today I feel (and I think this is understandable) nostalgic about my dogs testicles.

The "bright side" to all of this is that he'll no longer feel the need to mark his territory while he's IN the apartment. He'll also (supposedly) be more submissive when we're walking as he won't feel the need to dominate other dogs. Then again, the down side is...

They're cutting.
Off.
His freaking.
Balls.